• Vicky Murray

The future’s not set. There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves.

Any fans of The Terminator films may recognise this title as a quote from character Sarah Connor. As well as being an iconic line in a film, I also believe it, the future’s not set. There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves. I want you to consider this too and here is why.

And they lived happily ever after

You get film and literary quotes today! Yet ponder this. Even with the best laid plans, life doesn't always turn out the way we expect it too. At times, this can seem like the worst thing in the world, yet the beauty of hindsight can prove its not, if only we had that crystal ball to see into the future!

Now, a crystal ball is not something I possess, but this is where the first part of this blog title, 'The future's not set', comes into play. Here's a example:

The future is not set

At 17 you meet your partner. Everyone tells you they are 'the one' and you make the perfect couple. You believe it. You become engaged, buy your first home together, and marry at age 23. To the outside world you are over half-way to your happily ever after.

Fast-forward and there is, more often than not, 'trouble in paradise', although the outside world are largely oblivious. You convince yourself that it is the fertility struggles you are enduring, that this is another of your minds destructive tendencies, but as time passes you realise its not. There is more to it.

Things come to a head just after your third wedding anniversary. You leave the marital home you bought - you having paid the lions share. You can't remember why you have left and why you didn't fight it, but you do. You hide this event from family to protect them. Only a select number of friends (two) know. You are 26. You now have no husband, no home, no happily ever after. Or do you?

There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves

You are alone. You hit rock bottom. It's there you realise that you have a choice. You stay there and fade into the darkness, or you take control of your fate and make a future for you. Of your own making.

You choose the latter.

You move to a new area, take a new job, make new friends. You begin to get to know you, the real you. Who you are, what makes you come alive, who and what matters to you. You begin to truly live, not exist. You laugh - a sensation that feels strange and unfamiliar, you smile, you find a confidence long lost. You find you.

You meet someone. You refuse them several times. Then you decide your own fate. You are twelve days from your thirtieth birthday and you marry the real man of your dreams. The one that, like you, is making their own fate. That wants to share the adventure. That lets you be YOU. Your path is unfolding before you, being laid brick by brick, but there is no rush. You know, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

What will you make?

For those not familiar, this is an excerpt from my journey. A journey I never dreamed would be the one I would take, yet one that has brought me happiness and opportunity. Clarity. Purpose.

Wherever you are now. Whether you are travelling a well laid path or carving a new one, know that it will be ok. I know it may not feel that way, that there are always bends in the path that we can't see around, or forks where the direction is hard to choose. Whatever you are struggling with now, you will make the right choice, you will travel in the direction that is right for you, you will create the fate that delivers what you desire.

You need only believe and take control of your journey. Are you ready to pick up your map?


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